It is so, so hard to shake. In some ways I feel like slowing down in middle age (compounded with kiddo brain) is actually helping me figure this out? Because powering through just doesn't WORK anymore. I did some coaching last year, and although it's taken a while to sink in, I feel like I'm finally grasping that an hour of just sitting down and reading a book I like is worth days of sweat and anxiety at the computer.
It feels like one of the tricky things about subjective work like art and writing is there just isn’t a universal standard for progress or completion.
Sometimes taking an artist’s date or a week off actually is the way to make progress. And that’s unlike our industrial model for something objective like making a car, where there really is a clear map for what progress is and what completion is.
yes--because there's no objective measure we are constantly casting about for something to tell us we're doing it right. and this only accelerates when you do achieve a goal, because there's always some other measure out there by which you're failing. I think we all have some vague idea in our minds about what it means to be an artist--getting to make art whenever we want to, while ideally having enough money to live--but "having a practice of any kind at all" is not something we are set up to recognize as success
This really resonates for me. I see this a lot with students: they try to motivate themselves with fear or shame and it ends up blocking progress more than it promotes it. The most common coping mechanism for fear and shame is avoidance.
I know, too, that when I was struggling to write after my Dad died, a writing mentor gently reminded me to form a practice that was welcoming and inviting to get myself back in the habit. Centering my practice on what makes me happy and excited to write allowed me to get a lot more done, and any time I find myself avoidant or dragging my feet, it’s usually much better to find a way to make it fun again so that I willingly come back.
And that’s what writing group is too. It’s not so much accountability as it is community, and that sense of connection makes writing feel more meaningful and rooted and worth doing.
Yes...community v. accountability, that's a great distinction.
It has taken me so long to learn not to "power through" and shame myself. I'm wondering if you had any luck finding ways to help students figure this out? It runs so counter to all the messaging we get in our lives, and I feel like it's easy to say but hard to internalize. Thoughts?
I had success sometimes in framing it as an experiment: you’ve been using this tool. Let’s look at the data on how using this tool is going. Now let’s try the other tool and then compare the data. Almost every single time students find they are MUCH more productive and that visibility helps.
In terms of formulating the tools, asking: what makes you want to learn? Excited to learn? What makes learning fun? Knowing what sparks from them in learning can help them form a plan for how to incorporate those things for themselves.
In writing, I would want them to think about: what got you excited to write in the first place? When you have been successful, what elements were in place? What makes writing feel fun or joyful or worth doing? How can you incorporate that into your work.
And also: what makes you drag your feet or avoid writing? What scares you? How can you remove those elements from your process?
I love this so much. Ugh why do we always feel we need to submit ourselves to Puritan measures and methods to get results???
It is so, so hard to shake. In some ways I feel like slowing down in middle age (compounded with kiddo brain) is actually helping me figure this out? Because powering through just doesn't WORK anymore. I did some coaching last year, and although it's taken a while to sink in, I feel like I'm finally grasping that an hour of just sitting down and reading a book I like is worth days of sweat and anxiety at the computer.
I could talk about this forever. I've found myself reminding myself that immersing myself in art as often as I can lights the fire of my own work.
does it all just go back to the artist's way?? man, I should reread that book
It feels like one of the tricky things about subjective work like art and writing is there just isn’t a universal standard for progress or completion.
Sometimes taking an artist’s date or a week off actually is the way to make progress. And that’s unlike our industrial model for something objective like making a car, where there really is a clear map for what progress is and what completion is.
yes--because there's no objective measure we are constantly casting about for something to tell us we're doing it right. and this only accelerates when you do achieve a goal, because there's always some other measure out there by which you're failing. I think we all have some vague idea in our minds about what it means to be an artist--getting to make art whenever we want to, while ideally having enough money to live--but "having a practice of any kind at all" is not something we are set up to recognize as success
Yes, exactly.
This really resonates for me. I see this a lot with students: they try to motivate themselves with fear or shame and it ends up blocking progress more than it promotes it. The most common coping mechanism for fear and shame is avoidance.
I know, too, that when I was struggling to write after my Dad died, a writing mentor gently reminded me to form a practice that was welcoming and inviting to get myself back in the habit. Centering my practice on what makes me happy and excited to write allowed me to get a lot more done, and any time I find myself avoidant or dragging my feet, it’s usually much better to find a way to make it fun again so that I willingly come back.
And that’s what writing group is too. It’s not so much accountability as it is community, and that sense of connection makes writing feel more meaningful and rooted and worth doing.
Yes...community v. accountability, that's a great distinction.
It has taken me so long to learn not to "power through" and shame myself. I'm wondering if you had any luck finding ways to help students figure this out? It runs so counter to all the messaging we get in our lives, and I feel like it's easy to say but hard to internalize. Thoughts?
Yeah, totally!
I had success sometimes in framing it as an experiment: you’ve been using this tool. Let’s look at the data on how using this tool is going. Now let’s try the other tool and then compare the data. Almost every single time students find they are MUCH more productive and that visibility helps.
In terms of formulating the tools, asking: what makes you want to learn? Excited to learn? What makes learning fun? Knowing what sparks from them in learning can help them form a plan for how to incorporate those things for themselves.
In writing, I would want them to think about: what got you excited to write in the first place? When you have been successful, what elements were in place? What makes writing feel fun or joyful or worth doing? How can you incorporate that into your work.
And also: what makes you drag your feet or avoid writing? What scares you? How can you remove those elements from your process?
ahhhh this is all so good! thank you Linden!